Maybe you tried to lose 20 pounds in 6 months, but you came up 5 pounds short. Maybe you set the goal to be asleep by 11pm every night, only to find yourself frequently awake at midnight.

Just because you create a goal, that doesn’t mean you are going to achieve it.

Why not?

The simple answer is that obstacles get in the way. An office birthday leads to cake which leads to cheating on our diet. Our sister in the West Coast time zone calls and we talk late into our East Coast night.

We don’t mean to hit these goal busting walls. Our intentions are good, the problem is that we fail to act on those intentions.

But here is something that can help. Psychologist Peter Gollwitzer has coined the phrase “Implementation Intentions” as a self-regulatory strategy in the form of an if-then plan.

If I come across obstacle A, then I will respond with B.

This gives us a plan of attack to be better prepared to face inevitable obstacles.

Gollwitzer tested this theory by giving participants a task that tested their concentration. Half of participants wrote the goal, “I will try to find as many correct solutions as possible!” The other half wrote “If I get distracted, then I will concentrate on test even more!”

The results showed an increased interruption time for the participants who simply created the goal of finding as many correct solutions as possible. They spent more time stumped, aka they didn’t achieve their goal.

The participants who used an implementation intention–if I get distracted, then I will concentrate on test even more–had lower disruption times. They still got distracted, but they were prepared for what to do next.

By creating an if-then plan, the participants were able to increase their results.

Turns out that our perception, attention and memory are all heightened when we form a concrete plan of how to deal with an obstacle. This makes us much better at handling the situation because the task is performed more automatically and efficiently.

By spending a few moments preparing ourselves for the obstacle, our brain can shift into autopilot and we aren’t constrained by conscious effort. We remove some hesitation and deliberation and the right decision is much easier to make in such a critical situation.

For instance, if my sister calls at 10:45pm, I will respond by calling her back the next day. If cake is brought into the office, I will sprint out of the room after signing Happy Birthday to avoid temptation.

By picturing the possible obstacles, and figuring out how to respond, we set ourselves up for success.

If I come across obstacle A, then I will respond with B. Seems too simple but it just might work.

Photo credit: Pixabay

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Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound!”

Nowhere in that famous description of Superman does it say, “unstoppable due to his sleeveless outer garment.”

The cape does not make the man.

As the above clip from The Incredibles shows, a superhero does not become super simply because he or she wears a cape. In fact, there are times when all the cape does is get in the way.

I used to think my work needed to be flashy if I wanted it to be noticed. That was discouraging because I am not a flashy person.

I am starting to learn that fit is more important than flash.

How does my work fit my personality? How can it fit into the lives of others? Does it fit the principles I want to portray?

To stick with the comparison to The Incredibles, Edna builds each superhero costume based on the individual who will wear it. She creates a flexible material for Elastigirl. She designs a suit able to withstand enormous friction for Dash. She even makes each suit machine washable, because what mom wouldn’t want that.

In addition, each suit has something else in common…no capes!

There once was a time where you weren’t considered super unless you had a cape. Things have changed.

Find you fit and forget the flash.

Photo credit: Wikipedia

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I found this to be a very interesting description of internal conflict. The classic pop culture and movie trope usually features an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other. Both personas typically look like the character enduring the conflict, and they spend most of the time bickering with one another.

Here’s and example from the movie, The Emperor’s New Groove:

As common as this portrayal can be, it doesn’t always paint an accurate picture of someone dealing with internal conflict. As Mulaney brings up, sometimes the two voices look nothing alike. Sometimes, the thing sitting on your shoulder is a giant gorilla.

When we picture the two contrasting voices in our head as similar images, we assume we can fend off the bad one. But as Mulaney explained, quieting the voice that looks like a gorilla is a much different story. And this is why it can be easy to fall victim to the gorilla’s side. Especially when the sole purpose of the gorilla is to kill the other half.

During their conversation on the podcast, Mulaney and Maron also discussed how within the concept of two voices, one is typically the authentic us.

In explanation of how he has been able to remain sober for years, Mulaney said “I think the authentic me is the nice guy who is very aware of the gorilla and goes, ‘stay over there gorilla, no way, not today’.”

That is a very honest explanation that many of us can relate to. Even if we have not had struggles with substance abuse, we may have dealt with the shoulder gorilla in the form of laziness, dishonesty or envy.

It is important to remember that we do not necessarily have to defeat the gorilla. We do not even have to try to ignore it. We just have to be aware that it is there and have to courage to tell it to stay away, no way, not today.

Photo credit: Wikipedia

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According to Nobel Prize-winning scientist Daniel Kahneman, we experience approximately 20,000 individual moments in a given day.

Each moment only lasts a few seconds, but a couple of those seconds can make someone’s day.

Months ago, I had a friend tell me that a post I wrote had inspired them. She told me that it was exactly what she needed to hear and it made her day.

She was not aware, but at that time, I was questioning if anyone out there was reading my stuff. I wondered if anyone cared. He compliment was a simple moment that only lasted a few seconds. But that brief moment was exactly what I needed to hear. It made my day.

We experience approximately 20,000 individual moments in a given day. But the result of a few of those moments last much longer.

When you are struggling with your goals or your dreams and you feel like giving up, remember…Not everything you do will make an impact on someone else. But a few select moments can make more of an impact than you may ever know. You never know when you will make someone’s day.

To quote The Lego Movie, “I know that sounds like a cat poster, but it’s true.”

Photo credit: Wikipedia

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Ugly can lead to beauty, however. I loved this ad Nike released, it’s the apex of motivation meeting optimism.

Just remember: when something terrible happens, it means something good is just around the corner. It never hurts to be overly optimistic.

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In my initial story, I left out a very important part of how Dillon overcame his fear.

Dillon didn’t just flip a switch in his mind and decide he would not be scared of the horses. His decision took time. In fact, we held up the rest of the group because we were trying so hard to convince Dillon to ride the horse.

So how did we do it? How did we get Dillon up on that horse?

With the help of Peyton Manning.

We knew Dillon loved football. He spent most of camp talking about his favorite teams and players. He was an eight year old stat machine, constantly rattling off statistics that only ESPN anchors would know.

In order to get Dillon to see the horse in friendlier terms, instead of something he was terrified of, we decided to use the NFL to our advantage.

“Dillon, does that horse look more like a Denver Bronco or an Indianapolis Colt?” I asked, mentioning the two NFL teams with horse mascots.

“Um, I think it is more like a Bronco,” Dillon said.

“Which one looks the most like Peyton Manning?” asked one of the other counselors.

This made Dillon smile.

From there, Dillon helped us name all of the horses in the stable after Broncos players. One was wide receiver Wes Welker. Another was running back Knowshon Moreno. One was even Broncos’ head coach John Fox (yes, Dillon could even name all of the NFL coaches).

Knowing that Peyton Manning was one of Dillon’s favorite players we asked if he might want to take Peyton for a ride.

Dillon’s face scrunched up and it was clear he was conflicted. He loved Peyton Manning but was still afraid of the horse.

After a few moments, and much thought, Dillon chose to ride Peyton Manning.

Fear is a powerful thing. It can make us think that our brains are out to get us. The fear of the unknown is awful because it is just that, unknown. When something is unknown, we assume it will be bad.

Dillon only became convinced that the horses were something fun, instead of something frightening, when he started seeing the horses as something he was familiar with.

We helped Dillon turn a stable full of horrible horses into the Broncos’ starting line up.

Dillon could not relate to a big, scary horse. But he could relate to Peyton Manning. He knew more about Peyton Manning than most NFL scouts. He knew Peyton wasn’t bad.

And it was only when he started to view the horse as Peyton Manning that the horse became a little less scary.

Turning fear into a picture of something you are familiar with is a great way to strip the unknown of its intimidation.

Dillon proved this when his love of the NFL won out over his fear of horses.

Photo credit: Wikipedia

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On this exploration, Cortez decided not to leave anyone with the ships. In fact, he even took things a step further.

He gave orders to burn the ships.

What? Why would he do something like this? Was he out of his mind?

Cortez did this because he wanted to send a message to his crew.

He knew the exploration was nerve-racking and his men were looking over their shoulder in fear. He didn’t want his crew’s to have any lingering doubt in their minds about their current mission. He wanted to show that he was fully committed to success by eliminating the option of running away.

That is a gutsy strategy. How many of us are bold enough to try it?

I don’t know about you, but I rarely burn the ships in my life. In fact, I often keep one too many guards back at the ship, just in case I need to retreat.

If you are like me, you often put things off because you know there is always another chance to do them. There is always tomorrow.

The only problem is that tomorrow becomes tomorrow again the next day, and then the one after that.

In Cortez’s case, there was no tomorrow. He was not turning back and he wanted to eliminate all excuses.

Next time we start to come up with a list of excuses it might just be in our best interest to stop, and burn the ships instead.

(Photo Credit: Wikipedia)

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Lacey Holsworth, the eight-year-old girl who became an inspiration to the Michigan State men’s basketball team, passed away on Wednesday after her bout with cancer.

For those of you who haven’t heard of Lacey’s story, I strongly recommend reading the stories here & here.

The above video is of Michigan St. head coach Tom Izzo at a vigil service held on the school’s campus. Izzo gave a very heartfelt speech that contains many important lessons to learn from such an emotional situation, and I definitely recommend you take a few minutes to watch it.

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I count this as one of my favorite quotes. Babe Ruth is one of the greatest baseball players of all time. If anyone could skirt by on talent alone it was him. Yet, he knew the value of hard work. He knew that no matter how talented he was, it still took hard work and determination to win games. Basically, you have to want it more than the other person.

When you get someone as talented as Babe Ruth who also has an intense desire to win and the wherewithal to put in the effort it takes to win consistently, you get a deadly combination. Think about Michael Jordan. He never lost. He was the most talented guy on the floor, but he also wanted it more than anyone else.

I often find myself admiring those with less talent, but still give maximum effort. This usually defines quirky underdogs, teams or players that are overlooked on paper but make particular plays on the field or court to put themselves in position to win despite their talent disadvantage. I marvel at how their sheer will and determination keeps them in games they probably have no business being in.

This brings me to a personal favorite of mine, the 2014 Phoenix Suns.

Many thought they were intentionally trying to lose to get a better draft pick. Vegas pegged their preseason win total at less than 20 wins. Yet we are 70 games into the season and the Suns are 41-29. Their record is even more impressive when you consider they play in the Western Conference, a conference loaded with talented teams.

What impresses me most about the Suns is not only their effort, but their ability to fight back when all seems lost. Midway through the season they lost their best player, Eric Bledsoe, to injury. Up in to this point, the Suns had surprised the league. They had one of the league’s 10 best records, with many of their wins coming against elite teams.

After it was announced Bledsoe would miss six weeks, the Suns lost four consecutive games. They were again counted out. Yet the Suns responded by blowing out the league’s then best team, the Indiana Pacers, twice in a span of a week. They won 9 of 12 games. Pundits started to marvel at the staying power of the Suns.

Recently, the Suns started to fade again. Bledsoe returned but the team started losing games they would have won in the past. The schedule was getting tougher. Teams were starting to figure them out. Young players like Miles Plumlee, who had never before played extended minutes, were getting tired.

This brings me to today. The Suns, a game out of the last playoff spot in the Western Conference, traveled to Minnesota to play the Timberwolves. They were down by 20 points in the second quarter. They had surrendered 73 points at halftime.  It looked like they were going to be dealt a crushing blow to their playoff hopes.

Yet they rallied. They outscored the Timberwolves 34-17 in the 4th quarter for yet another improbable win a season full of them.

There have been many times throughout the season that I’ve been ready to write the Suns off. They lacked talent. They lacked experience. They lacked the defensive ability to beat good teams. Yet they haven’t lacked desire, or effort or the will to win.

Every time I’ve been ready to write the Suns off, they’ve bounced back. I admire it.

Although we all love those with amazing talent, we will always respect those that give maximum effort. Only a select few have the natural gifts to succeeded, but everyone has the ability to work hard and not give in and not give up no matter how hard it gets.

So I won’t write the Suns off anymore. They deserve that.

Because it’s really hard to beat a person (or a team full of them) that never gives up.

Photo courtesy of the Big Lead. 

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