The popular adage states that there are only two things certain in life: death and taxes. I’d suggest adding a third one: rejection.

Rejection is like that whip and nae nae song. We hear it way more than we would like and once it is in our heads, we think we will never be able to get it out.

Not only is rejection an emotional pain, but to our brain, it feels like a physical pain. fMRI studies have shown that when we experience rejection, the same areas of our brain become activated as when we experience physical injury.

And not only that, but social pain has been shown to be more easily relived than physical pain. So not only does rejection hurt like a black eye, it makes us feel like we will get punched in the face any time we think back to that moment.

Luckily for us, there is a surefire way to bounce back from rejection. To find out how, check out the new article I wrote Fulfillment Daily. You’ll see why we need to look no further than the great Michael Jordan.

How To Bounce Back From Rejection Like Michael Jordan – Fulfillment Daily

Photo credit: Flickr

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The History of the Christmas Tree

When searching for answers, I came across the video below from The History Channel. They summed up all the answers so nicely, I figured I would let them tell it. Check it out and learn the answers to the following questions:

• How the Christmas tree became the center place of our holiday celebration?
• Which Queen is responsible for this tradition?
• What were paradise trees?
• What happened in the Christmas of 1848?
• Who invented Christmas lights?
• How many lights are on the tree in Rockefeller Center?

Photo credit: Wikipedia

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year
With the kids jingle belling
And everyone telling you be of good cheer
It’s the most wonderful time of the year”

While I love that song, the idea of everyone telling you to be cheerful seems a little odd. We shouldn’t have to be told to be cheerful, should we? Shouldn’t it just come naturally?

The ideal answer would be yes, but when you mix in the cold weather, the long lines at the mall, and the extra traffic, it is easy to see why we may not feel like being cheerful during the holiday home stretch.

So maybe we do need to be told to be of good cheer. Or better yet, maybe we can spread the good cheer by our actions.

That is what one woman in Florida did last week at a McDonald’s drive-thru.

Fox News tells the story of  a woman who ordered her food and told the Golden Arches employee that she wanted to pay for the car behind her.

“She gave me her card, and she said I would like for you to tell her [the customer in the car behind her] a message. And I was like ‘Okay.’ She said I want you to tell her to have a ‘Merry Christmas’,” said McDonald’s cashier Marisabel Figueroa Lopez.

Lopez said the woman specifically requested her to say “Merry Christmas” and not “Happy Holidays.” This was the woman’s way of spreading a little Christmas cheer.

And the cheer had a great impact.

The chain of customers paying it forward continued from about 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.. In total 250 people paid for the car behind them.

All that because one woman wanted to wish a stranger a Merry Christmas.

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2. People watching

3. The Jungle Cruise at Disneyland

4. Pretzel bread

5. Australian accents

6. The old commercial for Cross Fire – most creative jingle ever

7. Waking up thinking your alarm is about to go off, but really you have 3 more hours to sleep

8. When I wake up in the morning and the alarm gives out a warning and I don’t think I’ll ever make it on time. By the time I grab my books and I give myself a look, I’m at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by. It’s alright ‘coz I’m saved by the bell

9. The Earl of Sandwich

10. Disney movies

11. Magic Eye books

12. Breakfast for dinner

13. Breakfast for lunch

14. Breakfast for breakfast

15. Puns

16. Ping pong

17. Sports bloopers

18. The Space Jam soundtrack

19. Not having Benjamin Button disease

20. That one time you thought you saw Liam Neeson at the store, but you weren’t really sure if it was Liam Neeson, but you still told all your friends that you definitely saw Liam Neeson at the store.

21. Thumb wars

22. Choco Tacos

23. Choco anything

24. Dikembe Mutombo

25. The old guys from The Muppets

Photo credit: Wikipedia

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Maybe you tried to lose 20 pounds in 6 months, but you came up 5 pounds short. Maybe you set the goal to be asleep by 11pm every night, only to find yourself frequently awake at midnight.

Just because you create a goal, that doesn’t mean you are going to achieve it.

Why not?

The simple answer is that obstacles get in the way. An office birthday leads to cake which leads to cheating on our diet. Our sister in the West Coast time zone calls and we talk late into our East Coast night.

We don’t mean to hit these goal busting walls. Our intentions are good, the problem is that we fail to act on those intentions.

But here is something that can help. Psychologist Peter Gollwitzer has coined the phrase “Implementation Intentions” as a self-regulatory strategy in the form of an if-then plan.

If I come across obstacle A, then I will respond with B.

This gives us a plan of attack to be better prepared to face inevitable obstacles.

Gollwitzer tested this theory by giving participants a task that tested their concentration. Half of participants wrote the goal, “I will try to find as many correct solutions as possible!” The other half wrote “If I get distracted, then I will concentrate on test even more!”

The results showed an increased interruption time for the participants who simply created the goal of finding as many correct solutions as possible. They spent more time stumped, aka they didn’t achieve their goal.

The participants who used an implementation intention–if I get distracted, then I will concentrate on test even more–had lower disruption times. They still got distracted, but they were prepared for what to do next.

By creating an if-then plan, the participants were able to increase their results.

Turns out that our perception, attention and memory are all heightened when we form a concrete plan of how to deal with an obstacle. This makes us much better at handling the situation because the task is performed more automatically and efficiently.

By spending a few moments preparing ourselves for the obstacle, our brain can shift into autopilot and we aren’t constrained by conscious effort. We remove some hesitation and deliberation and the right decision is much easier to make in such a critical situation.

For instance, if my sister calls at 10:45pm, I will respond by calling her back the next day. If cake is brought into the office, I will sprint out of the room after signing Happy Birthday to avoid temptation.

By picturing the possible obstacles, and figuring out how to respond, we set ourselves up for success.

If I come across obstacle A, then I will respond with B. Seems too simple but it just might work.

Photo credit: Pixabay

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Why Fireworks On The 4th of July?

Fireworks have become as patriotic as apple pie, hotdogs, and seeing how many hotdogs & apple pies we can stuff into our mouth in one minute. I’ve always just accepted fireworks on the 4th, but how did that begin?

According to Slate.com, the tradition of having fireworks on July 4th is all thanks to one man…John Adams.

Adams felt that the best way to mark the signing of the Declaration of Independence was to use fireworks. In a letter to Abigail Adams on July 3, 1776, he said that the occasion should be commemorated “with Pomp and Parade, with Shews, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other from this Time forward forever more.”

One year later on July 4, 1777, the Independence Day festivities in Philadelphia included a fireworks show. The Pennsylvania Evening Post wrote, “The evening was closed with the ring of bells, and at night there was a grand exhibition of fireworks (which began and concluded with thirteen rockets) on the Commons, and the city was beautifully illuminated.”

Also, that same year, fireworks filled the sky in Boston. The Boston Gazette reported, “In the evening Col. Crafts illuminated his park on the commons, threw several shells, and exhibited a number of fireworks.”

As the years progressed, fireworks became available to the general public and more and more cities joined in on this colorful custom. Today you do not have to look hard to find a 4th of July celebration featuring, “Pomp and Parade” & Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other from this Time forward forever more.”

All thanks to John Adams.

Photo credit: Wikipedia

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Here’s one simple thing you can to do increase your brainpower…

Stand up.

Yes, it is that easy. Get out of your chair and on to your feet.

A new study from Texas A&M University found that students with standing desks were more attentive and showed 12 percent greater on-task engagement than students who had seated desks. This 12 percent equates to an extra seven minutes per hour of engaged instruction time.

These results lead researches to believe we think better on our feet.

Mark Benden, Ph.D., CPE, associate professor at the Texas A&M Health Science Center School of Public Health, said that previous research has shown that physical activity, even at low levels, may have beneficial effects on cognitive ability.

“Standing workstations reduce disruptive behavior problems and increase students’ attention or academic behavioral engagement by providing students with a different method for completing academic tasks (like standing) that breaks up the monotony of seated work,” Benden said.

Is your work starting to feel monotonous? Maybe it is time to push the chair aside and let your feet do the thinking.

Photo credit: Wikipedia

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10 seconds? A minute?

The length of time you can endure the freezing cold tells a little about your pain tolerance. The longer you are able to withstand a frozen hand, the higher your tolerance.

What if I told you that you could improve this tolerance and all you had to do was laugh?

In his book, Ha! The Science of When We Laugh And Why, author Scott Weems tells the story of scientist who performed a cold pressor test. They asked participants to hold one hand in water chilled to 35 degrees Fahrenheit. They recorded their scores and then asked the participants to do the test again, only this time they performed the test while watching a recording of humorous stand-up comedy.

While watching the comedy, the patients were able to increase the amount of time they kept their hand in the ice water from 36-100 seconds. Weems calls this the Bill Cosby Effect (which unfortunately has a different connotation these days).

But laughing isn’t exactly the same as taking aspirin. Rather, it is more like a jog on a treadmill. Our minds need emotional engagement just like our bodies need exercise.

“The reason comedies and tragedies lead to greater pain tolerance is that our minds are exercised by each,” Weems says. “When we laugh, just as when we cry, our bodies experience emotional arousal. This effect is both engaging and distracting, strengthening our bodies—and our minds—for what is to come, much like a boxer lifts weights before a bout.”

Weems goes into great detail to show the benefits of laughing, but he also acknowledges that is it not a wonder drug. Humor may increase our pain tolerance but man cannot live on humor alone.

“Laughter is the best medicine, so long as it’s mixed with exercise, a healthy diet, and an occasional dose of penicillin,” says Weems.

Humor is a lot like changing a baby’s diaper—it doesn’t necessarily solve all our problems, but it sure does make things more pleasant for a while.”

So next time you are want to alleviate some hurt (physically or emotionally), you might just want to turn on Chris Rock’s Bring the Pain.

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Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound!”

Nowhere in that famous description of Superman does it say, “unstoppable due to his sleeveless outer garment.”

The cape does not make the man.

As the above clip from The Incredibles shows, a superhero does not become super simply because he or she wears a cape. In fact, there are times when all the cape does is get in the way.

I used to think my work needed to be flashy if I wanted it to be noticed. That was discouraging because I am not a flashy person.

I am starting to learn that fit is more important than flash.

How does my work fit my personality? How can it fit into the lives of others? Does it fit the principles I want to portray?

To stick with the comparison to The Incredibles, Edna builds each superhero costume based on the individual who will wear it. She creates a flexible material for Elastigirl. She designs a suit able to withstand enormous friction for Dash. She even makes each suit machine washable, because what mom wouldn’t want that.

In addition, each suit has something else in common…no capes!

There once was a time where you weren’t considered super unless you had a cape. Things have changed.

Find you fit and forget the flash.

Photo credit: Wikipedia

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Only problems was that I did not really know how to best do that.

When doing some research on how to set goals and why it is important to set goals I came across this podcast featuring Michael Hyatt. Hyatt outlines the 10 biggest mistakes people make in goal setting. I would definitely recommend it to anyone looking to set (and achieve) their goals in 2015.

One portion of the podcast that really stood out to me was when Hyatt discussed what he calls, “three negative emotions that indicate you are on the right track.” He explains that these three things may be viewed as negative but they are actually positive indications that you are on course to hit your target.

I think Hyatt’s three indications are not only a great way to look at goal setting but can also be applied to many aspects of our lives. Let’s take a look…

#1 Fear

Is there a little part of you that is afraid to write down a certain goal? Do you fear that you might need to work at hitting it? If your goal is outside your comfort zone, then it probably means it is really important to you.

We associate fear with negativity but just because something is scary doesn’t mean it is wrong. Last year I wrote about Disney’s Planes and how the main character Dusty Crophopper had the goal of becoming a racer. He was afraid of letting go of many of the things that made him a crop duster and it wasn’t until he acknowledged his comfort zone that he was able to fly faster.

By locating and pushing through our comfort zones, we too can learn to fly faster.

#2 Uncertainty

One reason I struggled to come up with goals was because I was already looking ahead. Say I wanted to have the goal of selling more books in 2015, I would immediately question how this was going to happen. What would I need to do? How would I need to go about it? Without having a concrete answer, I would talk myself out of creating that goal.

Turns out, my uncertainty might not be such a bad thing after all. Hyatt feels that identifying the what is more important than identifying the how. He says,

The how will show up once you get clarity about the what, so if you have uncertainty about the goal, that’s actually a very good thing because something is going to have to show up in you, in your way of thinking about something to accomplish it that you’re not clear on now.”

This could be an instance of having to rise to the occasion. I may not have the exact roadmap that will show me how to sell books, but if that goal is really important to me, I will do the exploration, both inwardly and outwardly, to find the steps to make it happen. When the time comes, will I step up and meet it? Just because I am uncertain on day one doesn’t mean I won’t be able to figure it out by day 100.

#3 Doubt

Last year I wrote about my confusion with doubt. After looking into it, I concluded that maybe doubt in itself is not good or bad. Maybe our response to the doubt is what creates the positive or negative.

I think Hyatt would agree. He says that when you start to feel doubt sitting on your shoulder, “that’s an indication you’re onto a goal that you find compelling enough to follow through.”

Am I a good writer? Do I have what it takes to write a second book? Those are legitimate doubts that rattle around in my brain. But that doesn’t make those thoughts bad. My reaction to them and my ability to follow through will be what dictates the positive or negative outcome.

Photo credit: Wikipedia

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