This Feels One Sided

Imagine you are in the middle of a nice, warm shower.

You have just lathered up your hair with some fruity smelling shampoo when off in the distance you think you hear the faint sound of a ringtone.

Then you hear it again. Your phone is definitely ringing.

You quickly jump out of the shower, grab a towel and race to the phone only to get to it just a second too late. You’ve missed the call and now you are standing in the middle of your room, wet with bubbles dripping down your neck.

Now picture this scenario…

You are in the middle of a nice warm shower. You have once again lathered up your hair with some fruity smelling shampoo. Everything is calm and you think to yourself, “My phone is not ringing.” You finish up your shower, towel off and get on with the rest of your day.

Which situation is more memorable??

Of course the time your phone rings leaves more of an impact on your memory. Not only was your relaxing shower interrupted, but you were left cold, wet, and soapy, with no phone call to show for it.

That is a memorable event and you are likely to tell the story to a co-worker and proclaim, “my phone always rings while I am in the shower.”

That situation is what cognitive psychologists call a one-sided event, or an event that is registered in your memory only when it turns out a particular way.

Of course the phone doesn’t always ring while you are in the shower. A simple look at your phone’s call log would prove that. But it feels that way because you definitely remember the handful of times that the phone does ring while you are scrubbing your armpits.

You only recall the event when it turns out a certain way. You never remember the dozens of showers that are uninterrupted.

One sided events can happen in many different varieties in our lives. I think this explains why people only remember the negative outcome from certain situations.

For example, my brothers and I are big fans of Gonzaga basketball. During this past season, my younger brother and I were watching a game where Gonzaga jumped out to an early lead. They were winning by 20 points in the first half but fell apart in the second half. The other teams stormed back to cut the lead to single digits and the Zags had to hold on for dear life to seal the victory.

My brother and I commented that Gonzaga always gets out to a big lead only to see the margin disappear in the second half. “Why do they always do that?” my brother asked.

Unable to answer that question, I decided to look at the results from Gonzaga’s victories in the previous games. I expected to find results of single digit victories that would back up my brother’s and my theory. Instead I found numerous 20+ point wins.

Turns out Gonzaga doesn’t always blow a 20 point lead. More often than not they hold the lead and coast to an easy win.

We didn’t remember all the blow out victories because they felt like non-occurrences that didn’t factor into our evaluation of Gonzaga basketball. Those aren’t that memorable.Just like the shower where the phone doesn’t ring.

Rather, it was just the few times that they did squander a lead that stood out in our memory. We remembered those negative times because, to us, they were one sided events.

Turns out that things that are one sided make for more than just a terrific podcast. They also explain why we often only remember the negative outcomes of many situations.

So next time something negative happens and you think to yourself, “____ always happens like that,” take a step back and see if it actually “always” happens that way, or if it just feels one-sided.

 

Photo credit: Wikipedia