The Ultimate Game

I’m a sports fan, so I naturally love sports what ifs.

What if Michael Jordan’s Bulls were able to play Shaq and Kobe’s Lakers?

What if the 85 Bears played the 90s Cowboys?

What if the Minnesota Twins from Little Big League matched up against the Cleveland Indians from Major League?

I have my own version of a sports what if today. It’s between two teams that history will forget. It’s between this year’s San Diego Padres, who currently sit at 44-56, and the 1996 Colorado Rockies, who finished the year 83-79.

Why on earth would I want to match up these two teams?

Because their are EXTREME opposites.

San Diego Padres

The 2014 San Diego Padres are hitting .215 as a team. Let that sink in. Their OBP is .275. Their slugging % is .336. To hammer my point home even more, let me introduce you to the Padres’ best hitter, Seth Smith.

Smith is hitting .286-11-30, with a .507 slugging %. His career high in home runs in a season is 17. He’s never driven in more than 60 runs in a season, despite playing full seasons in Coors Field (more on this park later). THIS IS THE PADRES BEST HITTER.

How the hell are the Padres 44-56 with this offense?

They have the NL’s second best ERA. They have five starting pitchers with an ERA under 2 (not their whole rotation, some of the current starters with sparkling ERAs are filling in for injuries). To really be wowed by the Padres pitching, let me introduce you to their bullpen:

A lot of teams would kill for two relievers with ERAs under 3, the Padres have five. Incredible.

One of the main reasons for their pitching dominance and hitting woes is their ballpark. Petco Park in San Diego is the premier pitcher’s park in baseball. It makes average pitchers look great and great hitters look average. It’s the reason a team can run out the worst offense in decades and only be 12 games under .500.

Colorado Rockies

Let’s compare this to Coors Field. In the 1990s, Coors Field was a magical place where the steroid era of baseball meshed with the thin, mile-high air of Denver. Since the air is so thin in the city, a baseball that is hit in the air will travel a lot further than other parks. Today, balls are placed in a humidifier before being used to help negate this effect. In the 90s, however, it led to juiced up baseball players putting up amazing numbers. I’d like to introduce you to four best hitters on the 1996 Colorado Rockies, which doesn’t even include their best player who missed half the season due to injury:

Such numbers will never exist again. That’s four players with over 30 HRs and 113 RBIs – without Larry Walker for half the season. To put into context how good Larry Walker was, the following season he was named the NL MVP after hitting .366 with 49 HRs and 130 RBIs, then he proceeded to hit .363 and .379 the next two seasons. The mid-90s Rockies just had an embarrassment of riches (statistically, at least) on offense.

Why did they struggle to stay above .500? Their team ERA was 5.59. They had two pitchers in their starting rotation with an ERA under 5, and they were barely under 5 – Armando Reynoso was 4.96, Jamey Wright was 4.93. They had two relievers pitch over 50 games and finish with ERA’s north of 6.

Who Wins?

If we decided to pit the 1996 Colorado Rockies and the 2014 San Diego Padres against each other in an eight game series, split evenly between the gluttonous Coors Field and the frugal Petco Park, who would win? It’s a battle for the ages. I think I’d give the slight edge to the Rockies, since they did finish with a winning record in ’96 and the Padres look like a 90 loss team.

Then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if the series was split evenly.

Edit #1

If you need further proof how crazy baseball life was at Coors Field back then:

Barry Bonds’s career if he played in 2000 Coors Field his entire career. (This never gets old). pic.twitter.com/LCI0d3UWAD

— Grant Brisbee (@mccoveychron) July 25, 2014